After a divorce, dating may seem like a perpetual taboo if you have children. After all, they grew up with two people that they are emotionally connected to, and they are not necessarily as ready to move on as you may be. Also, they may be holding out hope that you and your ex may get back together. (Remember, many children feel as if their parents’ break up is their fault). With that said, dating after a divorce may not be an easy transition.
Nevertheless, life goes on and so will your dating life. This post offers some helpful tips to avoid difficulties with your kids while doing so.
Let go of the guilt – Your kids may disagree (because they think that you’re old and boring) but you are entitled to have a social life, which means that you can meet people and go on dates just like anyone else. This is especially important if the kids don’t realize that they monopolize your time.
Don’t let the kids decide who you date – Relationships based on solely on “who’s good with the kids” are doomed to fail. By doing this, you are inherently looking for a babysitter instead of a mate.
The kids may not like him or her at first – Depending on their sensibilities, the kids may not like your new love interest, and may even perceive them as a threat (to be their new parent). Also, they may not be entirely comfortable with prospect of you dating anyone. They may be entitled to their feelings, but you hold the ultimate decision.
Keep the reassurance – Let the children know that you are still their parent and that you love them, and that you are there for them even though you are dating again.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, 5 ways for single moms to make dating OK for kids, April 6, 2013
